Catching Up

Well I am so glad to be here for the next couple of weeks. I am looking forward to catching up with everyone. I have been so bad at that. I love all of my friends dearly and I don't wish to make anyone feel as if I don't... I just feel like most of the time I am not a very exciting person and I don't know if I have anything to say. I don't want to bore the death out of everyone. I feel like I am such an awkward person, you know... I don't know how to behave very well in social situations. The truth is I don't really know who I am after all this time of being alive. It is funny, all my life I went around picking up the traits of the people that surrounded me and I moved around so much that I was always trying to make up new personalities to see if people would actually like me, but when it came down to it and people approached me I didn't know how to behave unless I had previously taken the time to closely "study" them. I like to spend most of my time listening. I think that that is one good quality that I have. I believe I have perfected the art of listening. I understand the way things are said, the tone, the look in the eyes, the body language, and the way the face emotes. Once I have spent some time "studying" a person I feel more comfortable with actually having a conversation. But with my close friends so much time has passed that I don't know how to behave anymore. I guess most people would just tell me to "JUST BE YOU" but the truth is I don't know how. I am not sure, like I said before, who 'I' am... I am a little bit of everything and everyone that has come across my life. I guess the best way to describe how I am is very analytical and always curious... That is all I can think of that is a constant with my so called personality. I don't know what I want out of life and I don't know if I ever will. I always just kind of roll with the punches and try to keep my crazies at bay. Blah... Alright enough with the babbling. I love all of my friends very much and I want to do my very best to maintain that friendship. :D It will require a bit of work from myself, but I will try. Maybe when taxes come we can get a cheap computer or something. That would make it much easier. I am not very good on the phone, so a computer would be best. :P Well that is all that I have for today.